1. A SINGLE TEAR

I was so naive and fearful of the substantive
Of the greying days, of carrying endless weight
And what it really meant to truly mean something
To really be someone who could be loved
So lost in darkness, in and out of selfishness
Hoarding all my dreams was just no way to be
Then you gifted me such a precious thing
A chance to be someone who deserved love
When I heard your cry ring out
It showed me what real strength could be
As a single teardrop fell
And was swallowed by the sea
You outshined the best there was
Rewrote who I could be
When I held you for the first time
I knew I had to survive
As a single teardrop fell


2. EYE OF THE QUARREL

Eye of the quarrel open wide as the wound
I still reach for the sun in spite of all of you
I'm my own man built by my own hands
Despite all the flaws which remind me of you
Eye of the quarrel, is bearing down
Eye of the quarrel, bestows the crown
Frayed as these veins have always been
I still have to wonder who let dysfunction in
The little lies, distorted truths
Smeared the perspective and made me love you
Queen of the garbage, prince of the weeds
My legacy won't inherit disease (from me)


3. UNDER DURESS

Don't need a helmet if I have my heart
Don't need your war to find peace
I don't need to learn to live in compromise
I'll never kneel and kiss your ring
The sickness spreads under duress
Compassion bends under duress
Wouldn't need a gun if you didn't have one
Don't need you to serve or protect
I am not a number just patiently waiting
To enter the belly of the beast
The delusions of control
Are rotting the root of the tree
It's the fear that keeps you there
And it's mine that sets me free


4. ARKHIPOV CALM

Fresh faced oligarch we have grown far apart
My arkhipov calm will serve me in due time
Turbulence shakes the teeth from the chaos that you speak
With every barb that you threw, I saw you list to the side
And I won't sink with you, I have so much more to do
Promises, the lost cause, but the bones will heal in time
You see the patience is a test, it separates boys from men
And my arkhipov calm will serve me in time
It's the fires that we quell that save us from our hells
It's the wars that we don't fight that keeps love alive


5. I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT PAIN

Sick matriarch
We are worlds apart
Your dysfunction rips
The roots from my heart
I swear that I'm trying
I swear that I'm trying, but
You don't know what my pain feels like

And our memory dims
A bitter sting sets in
The resentment grows
And my blood thickens

I swear that I'm trying
I swear that I'm trying, but
You don't know what my pain feels like
You don't know what my pain feels like

I just need to leave, just have to find a way out
I just have to run, just need to fight my way out
I just need to leave, just have to find a way out
I just have to run, just need to fight my way out

Stay calm, stay calm, keep your head down
Stay calm, stay calm, keep your head down

I just need to leave, just have to find a way out
I just have to run, just need to fight my way out

You don’t know what my pain feels like
You don’t know what my pain feels like
You don’t know what my pain feels like
You don’t know what my pain feels like


6. THE DUSK IN US

And at night they come, when protectors are gone
Not in waves, but in shadows
Prancing on the wall, creeping up the bed
It's there they thrive and nest within
Dear frightened little boy, it's time to rise above all of their noise
Ghosts are merely shadows, you are flesh and bone
The grudge does not have regrets when there is no past to forget
Our denial it speaks in tongues, there's monsters among us
And at dawn they'll go with the last shred of hope
Someday it'll change, or so they say
Just bide your time and try to stay alive
Revenge will come with the rising sun
Dear shattered little girl, this is not the end of your world
It's the beginning of the rest of your life where you do, or you die
It's not a trial but a test, just a broken mirror to reflect
Our denial it speaks in tongues, there's monsters among us
I ask from within my heart, where did our failures start
If we must imagine ourselves as someone, somewhere else
And what does the future hold, if we're running low on health and hope
Our denial it speaks in tongues, there's monsters among us
Dusk lives within us, darkness won't give up
Dusk in us


7. WILDLIFE

And the wildlife was hunted not for heart but the hide
To warm the bones of cowards that were left behind
And the lotus wilts with the guilt of the wasted time
What does it say about the ones who never even tried
Under constant pressure, diamonds in the rough
Only way to light is fighting through the dirt
Born into such a cruel, cruel world
Survival can be such a cruel, cruel curse
Best of intentions will grow horns in sleep
Without a sense of purpose outside the dream
And our wounds are so noble but still we must see
There may not be answers in the reasons that we bleed
Preciously violent, beautifully abhorrent


8. MURK & MARROW

Joy escapes through the tangled days (Iron demands fire)
Youth escapes through the blur of pain (Iron demands fire)
Smoke cloaks the sky, the bell explodes
A shudder runs through, we have nowhere to turn
When the luster is gone and life loses right
We cannot escape the slipping of time
Exodus of eden led by convenience
The murk and marrow are all that we know
When the luster is gone and life loses right
Nothing will escape the slipping of time
Love needs to feed
Ghosts need belief


9. TRIGGER

The sting of pain ripens with age
Into a withered recompense
Doesn't make a dent in the path you paved
Just a flower at the grave of indifference
The world's a trigger seemingly without end
You have to bury the gun to finally make sense of it
No way forward through tangle of veins
Just through the thorns and brutal truth
Your apologies mean nothing to me
When a burning bridge can't be crowed
Was it worth it, tell me was it fucking worth it?


10. BROKEN BY LIGHT

Emotion sickness afterglow
A darkness reigns over all
But it's the white noise harmony
That I find so troubling
And the echo of that whisper
Said how much better it used to be
As a petal fell from the rose
Withering as a long forgotten dream
Phantom broadcast from the past
Predicts the end of all good things
But it's the white noise harmony
That I find so troubling
And the echo of that whisper
Said how much better it used to be
As a petal fell from the rose
Withering as a long forgotten dream
Broken by light


11. CANNIBALS

Opportunism
Will spread within the land
If the parasitic heart
That beats in all of us
Is unrivaled
Crocodile tears
Extinguish empathy
And we will not survive
If this is all there is
Feral animals
Must not be unrivaled
We are just cannibals
If there is nothing left to love
Cannibals


12. THOUSANDS OF MILES BETWEEN US

We fell in and out of touch
Our distance never meant too much
I always wanted to be more
Than what you were searching for
I know you never wanted this
But thank you for giving me your best
I knew that you always loved me
Though you never said that you did
There is no place in this world to hide
My shattered smile that life provides
Stand up straight take it on the chin
Pick up my teeth and start again
I never knew the reasons why
Somewhere we just both stopped trying
But when you said that you were dying
I said that I loved you
There is no place in this world to hide
My shattered smile that life provides
Stand up straight take it on the chin
Pick up my teeth and start again
Just start again
Numbness still makes some sense
Without a consequence
Something not meant to be
Found a way to breathe
Thousands of miles between us


13. REPTILIAN

Futile wars for fruitless words
Written by shadow kings
Their shrapnel seeds the desert fields
And sprouts this fear we see
Devils do not need a hell in order to exist
Melodies of flightless birds
Remind reptilian me
That time is not through sharpening
Our tested claws and teeth
Devils do not need a hell in order to exist
We must lose sight of the shore to know what courage means
We must lose sight of who we are to know what we can be
The enemy will not reveal its mortal form to me