Ever wondered what music would sound like if you, at the same time had one acoustic guitar playing ballad riffs, an electric guitar play jazz, the drummer playing death metal fast pace heavy beats, a keyboard playing doing classical while all this were fronted by a lamb an eagle and a dragon? Well you’d get one hell of a headache mind fuck of an annoying noise that can hardly be called music!!! Which is why I’m here to talk about something completely opposite I.E. the 2005
Agony Scene album “
The Darkest Red”. Because unlike brain straining music such as anything that can be heard on your local radio station that hurts my head more than my skull being crushed in a vice, “
The Darkest Red” kicks arse. So much in fact that it’s my favourite album of all time. The album features 11 tracks, 10 of which being songs.
And I know what you’re thinking. “What the? Only 10 songs? I can name several great albums that have more than 10 songs. What a rip off!!!” Well you know-nothing cunt. Most albums that have 14, 15 or even 18 songs only have about 5 of out all that are good anyway. Every single song on this album is unreal.
And I don’t mean “unreal” as in “worth a listen” or “pretty good” I mean “made my jaw fall off the first time I heard them”. The genre is metalcore / new wave of American heavy metal. Each song extremely catchy that sucks you in, in a nanosecond like a hooker with three boobs. The vocalist Michael Williams can sing
AND scream… very well. His screams can be described as high pitched growling and it sounds so psychotic that it’s fucking awesome!!!
And if the joker from The
Dark Night ever learnt to sing I’m sure he’d sound a lot like Michael’s style of singing. The guitars are very loud and have an awesome aggressive vibe not often found in metalcore and the drummer has a very unique drumming pattern
AND uses the best snare I’ve ever heard in my life!!! Another good thing about the drums is that they’re just as loud as the other instruments. It seems that no one cares about drummers anymore unless it’s Joey Jordison or if you’re easily impressed; the Green Day drummer, whatever the fuck his name is. But anyway they always tune the drum volume down. If you like the sound of drums wait until this album blasts your ears off. This album gives me a hit like a pint full of heroin. If the hole in the middle of the CD were the right size for my cock to fit in I’d have had to restrain myself from fucking the CD while saying “I love you”… you’re right too far :P
Anyway it’s sad because
The Agony Scene’s later album “
Get Damned” (that I already did a review on) was disappointing. I always hoped that maybe the next album would be better but I guess I’ll never know now because
The Agony Scene fucking disbanded!!!
And do you know who I blame? YOU!!!
That’s right YOU!!! I tried telling everyone that
The Agony Scene are awesome but no don’t listen to me. Because of the public’s lack of interest towards them
The Agony Scene weren’t making any money and had more financial issues than a bubblegum salesman in Singapore. So rather than get dragged down into more financial problems they disbanded. This would never have happened if more people were fans and bought there fucking albums like I did. Maybe now more people will fucking listen to me. If you’re one of the people who didn’t buy “
The Darkest Red” when I told you to or listened to it and didn’t like it, place a pen up your nose just before the tip reaches your brain then SLAM YOUR FACE ON THE TABLE!!! Don’t you recognize talent when you hear it?!!! Fuckers!!!
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